Sunday 2 December 2018

My Cliffhanger Story. (DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO ANNOY YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I wondered what was behind the door, I touched the rusty jagged knob,
it fell off in my hand. Here goes nothing. I thought, I stepped back a few paces, and ran,
at the last moment, I jumped, and rose my leg. I screamed as I hit where the door should
have been. The cracked concrete floor hit me as I landed on it with a loud thump. “What
was that for?” I shouted into the darkness, but nothing replied.


I stood up in front of the door and gulped, What should I do?


I knocked on the door, and heard a hoarse laugh. What was behind the door?
The suspense was killing me, suddenly, I saw a red jewel appear in the middle of the
door unlike everything else, it was polished, I knew it was a trap. But I had to know what
was behind it all, I had to know who had set all these traps,  I had to know who had
done this to my friends, I had to know…


I pressed the jewel, and waited, nothing happened, I pressed it again, and again,
and again. I screamed. “WHY! WHY WON’T IT WORK!” I kicked the door,
and immediately regretted it. What would happen to my friends?


I heard a creak, I brushed the hair out of my face, and entered the now open door...

4 comments:

  1. WOW!!! that's a real cliff hanger - I wonder what will happen next... I wonder what happened to your friends?
    really engaging story Rebecca.

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  2. Awesome suspenseful writing Rebecca, it is very effective. Well done. I enjoyed the story and the way you wrote it to impact on the audience.

    Since you're writing in the past tense, you'd normally said "raised my leg" not "rose", which is strange because rose is also past tense. It's one of those weird irregular English words. xx

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  3. What wonderful use of adjectives

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  4. we now have the blog site comments working so here goes.i didnt eat my own foot `cos i was a little bit scared after reading your story but it was pretty damm scary and wonderful -the sensible use of adjectives contributed greatly to the suspense that your story generated -so what next- perhaps you should do a sequel(end or continuing piece to an end)for it would exercise your mind and writing skills and give us a great treat -sooo get back to writing the rest of the story our little filing clip =great stuff rebecca ggg

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